Last night instead of sleep
I thought about what’s getting me
what’s waiting up ahead of me
and all the things I've never seen
I’m a demon with a smile
there’s no competing with the lies
if you could see it with my eyes
I can’t explain the reasons why
cause lately I feel everything
this life is not a gentle thing
and maybe it has never been
and it’s just faded from my memory
I cannot give the whole truth
no matter what I’ve told you
it’s an echo of a scream
only a remnant of some peace

I lost the hope that I rely on
really tested reasons I write for
stopped ball or even the fight for just
staying fit and basic survival
got fat instead of eating the right food
a bad back so sleep is a nightmare
and each morning I wake more tired than
when I lay down in defeat and retirement
I spent my years on the violin
then chose to invest my time and
money in writing useless designs that
no-one’ll pay for but a group of rhymers
even then, not a lot find it
in a sea of other online shit
more than the people can buy in a lifetime
and the only thing I’ve earnt is some hind sight

I've made some mistakes in my time
stopped thinking big and aiming so high
it’s just how it is, I play til I die
if I fuck it up bad, then I'm normal alright
don’t let it torture my mind
at least not too much all of the time
I’ve learnt to know when to call it a night
or at least know when to call for advice
otherwise I miss all of the times
when life can be good with a roll of the dice
if I roll snake eyes roll with the times
if I get down make em can roll in the isles
But who am I to preach, I’m rolling my eyes
I still don’t know my own role at this time
sometimes it’s all in denial
guess to the end, any more is a lie

I slip at every step, but gain momentum
I choose at every hit to spend potential
up dead ends and empty beds to find an exit
and the minute that I catch my breath I jump again and make an entrance
I slip at every step, but gain momentum
I choose at every hit to spend potential
up dead ends and empty beds to find an exit
and the minute that I catch my breath I jump again and make an entrance

calling me Brian was an ominous sign
three generations of ignoring advice
to follow footsteps would break the bloodline
it’s written in my veins I have to run wild
calling me Brian was an ominous sign
three generations of ignoring advice
to follow footsteps would break the bloodline
it’s written in my veins I have to run wild